MaaaaiSaaaan

September was hell for my work. I joined some project, I was handling seven projects at the same time, that started crazy busy days. No weekends, no sleep every night, Just working whole days. My daugter screamed “Stop your work!” and I was very sad and I cried.. Finally! I’m done to the crazy project, but I lost 4 kilos in last month. and I felt bit depressd. I traded my mental and physical health for a salary.   After next day. October! began! I went to beauty places, a nail-salon hairsalon, and eyelash. After that, I went to movie theater. I blew off all my stress that day! When I use to live in Tokyo. I also had hard work. I remenbered. it’s not change. I earned good salary, but I spend all money and time for my strees. I really want to I graduated from this curse! for Next my Goal. I swear.

I have a child. She's 2 years old last month. I never cared about kids before. but after she came, I sterted to lean my life for her! Action, face, feelings and expression, everything. If I hava a little depress, she destroy negativethings and charges me. One of my fears is that she has such a pure heart now, but when she grows up and enters society, she may become sad and face painful things. Nowadays, many young people say they don’t want kids, as I see in the news. I don’t care about people’s choices, but I feel they just don’t know the positive side of it. If that is the answer, it feels so sad. I hope every kids are treasure. what kids of child has power to feel eternal.

I’m a freelancer with a family, and I’ve been looking for a full-time position since the beginning of this year. But I feel stuck. Sometimes I wonder, “Maybe I don’t really need a permanent job,” or “Would it even be a problem if I didn’t get hired?” I also dislike overly busy work styles. Nowadays it’s not that I’m dissatisfied with my freelance work, and I’m not really struggling with it. I’m just worried about my overall career. We can live a modest life in local city in Japan. but days of constant inner turmoil. I have to grow. I want to aim for my next goal! I want to use English in my main job!!! So today, I'll keep working on my tasks.Let’s carry on sincerely. Think about it every day.

This month, we had End of War Day. I always watch the news about the Hiroshima and Nagasaki Peace Ceremonies every year. Suddenly, I realized that one of my co-workers is from Hiroshima. I asked her, “Did your family have any victims of the atomic bomb?” She said, “Oh, my great-grandfather just melted and disappear.. He went to the city for business alone, and on that day, he never came back. No one knows his story.” Since then, he has been missing. I was really shocked. I have never had a friend from Hiroshima before, and even though I am Japanese, Every year I watch the news. but I had never felt the horrible accident so close to me until now. And there were countless citizens like that. It was truly miserable and inhuman.